How to prevent anger in children? Here are 10 ways
How to prevent anger in children? Here are 10 ways
Sometimes children have difficulty regulating their emotions and staying calm. It is necessary to teach them to regulate their emotions and prevent children from having tantrums. Anger can occur in children of all ages. In this article, I will talk about how to prevent anger in children and how to keep them calm.
In some cases, children have trouble regulating their emotions and staying calm. This is not the case for every child, but in children who experience their emotions more intensely and react more excessively to their behavior, they become outbursts of anger, crying, arguments. In this situation, it is useless to argue with the child or try to explain to him. The first thing to do in children is to teach them to recognize their emotions so that they can prevent outbursts of anger and manage their emotions and stay calm.
10 ways to prevent tantrums in children
1- Don’t argue when you’re angry
When your child is angry, arguing with the child or trying to explain to him won’t work. The first thing to do in children is to prevent outbursts of anger, to manage their emotions and to stay calm, to teach them to recognize their emotions.
2-Teach not only positive but also negative emotions
From birth to infancy, children are able to recognize emotions and manipulate them. They usually learn emotions by imitating their parents. Parents want their children to be happy. Sometimes they even exaggerate it. However, happiness is not the only situation that needs to be recognized. Some emotions, especially negative ones, can be harder to accept. For this reason, it is necessary to teach the child about emotions such as sadness and distress and how to direct them. Otherwise, children will naturally have frustrations and temper tantrums.
3-Be an example
Parents need to set an example for their children to manage their own emotions. If the parent cannot express or manage their own feelings, it will be difficult for the child to do the same. Therefore, in order to teach the child these feelings, it is necessary to tell him about your own feelings. For example, when you can’t do something, you can convey your own emotion to your child, such as, “I was supposed to do it today, so I’m angry, even a little too frustrated.” In the same way, in order for the child to understand his emotion, you can make the child express his own feelings with questions such as “I think you are angry right now” or “What are you feeling right now, are you too angry?”
4-Show that you understand it
One of the things that can be done to direct the child’s emotion and keep him calm is to say that you understand him. Realizing that the child’s emotion at that moment is understood and that this feeling is not being tried to be changed can help the child stay calm. For example, saying “You’re angry right now” when your child is angry and not commenting on it, that is, not making a criticism such as “But what is there to be angry about, it doesn’t get so angry anyway” will lead the child to stay calmer.
If you don’t understand your emotion, saying, “I don’t understand what you’re feeling, can you tell me?” will also force the child to think more calmly. Paying attention to your child’s behavior, especially being aware of their behavior before tantrums, can be a way to calm him down. For example, “If your child opens and closes his fists before he starts to get angry, closing your fists openly with him by saying “Yes, it can sometimes work to open and close the fist” will make the child realize that you are paying attention and that you can divert his attention, and will help him regulate his emotions.
Clearly and precisely pre-empting desires to children is more important than emotion control. For example, instead of saying, “It’s bedtime, you’re going to bed right,” saying “It’s bedtime in twenty minutes, so you’ll have to finish play” will give the child time to control his emotions. Despite this, the child may still have anger control, but it can be ensured that he goes to bed with a more trouble-free process than he has prepared himself much more easily than in the previous situation.
It can be helpful to talk to your child before an event where you know that emotion control will be difficult. For example, if you go to the same place again with your child who had an argument because he couldn’t do something he wanted when you went to the restaurant before, it may be necessary to talk about it beforehand and remind him that he should not do that behavior there and that he couldn’t control himself last time because of it. This will allow your child to stay calmer the next time. However, this discourse should not be in the form of a threat. In other words, it is not “I’ll be very angry if you do this again!” but “You can’t control yourself when you do, so let’s agree now” is a more correct approach.
Emotion control can be difficult when children are asked to do something they are not willing to do. Then giving them a choice will make it a little easier. For example, telling the child about bedtime, “If you want, we can prepare for bed now and I can read you a book or go to bed in 15 minutes, but then I won’t read a book” causes the child to be calmer. Problems may still arise, but it will be much easier to control this problem than to offer no options at all.
8-Anger in children sometimes stems from not being able to succeed
One of the situations that makes children angry and lose control of emotions is when they fail to accomplish something they want to accomplish. Parents usually try to deal with the issue immediately instead of the child in this case. However, this increases the child’s anger because his parent did something he couldn’t do himself. Instead, it can be soothing to say that he’s working so hard for what he wants to accomplish, that it might be good for him to take a break. In the meantime, when doing something else with him and then returning to doing the unaccomplished work again, praising his efforts is an appropriate way for the child to stay calm.
9-Make time for your child
In general, dedicating time to children during the day in the way they want. Using this time not to do what you want, but only to do what he wants, and to spend this time without criticizing him or arguing with him, allows children to stay calmer in other situations. This period does not have to be very long. The 15-20 minutes you can leave every day, but give her your attention completely, will make her better at her relationship with you and controlling her emotions.
10-It may sometimes be necessary not to see tantrums in children
Finally, sometimes it’s a good way to ignore certain behaviors. When the child shows negative and angry behaviors, it can be effective to leave the room and not pay attention to them, but to direct your attention back to them when they show positive behaviors. In this way, the child will realize that he can attract positive behaviors and reduce the number of his negative behaviors.
Like everyone else, children can be angry from time to time. The important thing is to teach them to control their emotions and to be able to direct anger correctly, starting in infancy.